Auld Lang Syne

As the year comes to a final close our tendencies are  to reflect on the previous 365 days and look to find something…some sort of meaning or message that we were supposed to somehow get but didn’t.   We’ll conclude “A” and then resolve to fix “B” with new resolutions for the year that is ahead of us.  Our first-fruits of the year will end up being  disappointment and shame, topped with the cherry called failure because we will set unrealistic goals for ourselves with no other option but to opt out.    What a bleak start to a new year, right?  Or, what a negative outlook I’ve got starting right out of the gate of 2018?   It doesn’t have to be.   If  we get real with ourselves and take a look from the outside to see the person others see in order to get a little insight, we’ll be able to  head in a positive and productive direction.   A direction that will enable us to be  both mentally and physically healthy, as well as spiritually…the best version of ourselves.   Disclosure:  It won’t happen overnight.  It won’t even happen in a year, or two years.  It will be an ongoing process…a lifestyle choice.  

Two things happened to me yesterday.  The first, I read my daughter’s latest blog @  www.uponthebeauty.com  (great read by the way), talking about the “Word of the Year” concept and implementing it, as a productive tool, into the new year as a reminder and focus of something we want to work on in the upcoming year.  The second was a discussion with my husband, more of an argument really, of the bitterness that has somehow gotten sown into my spirit and has multiplied in fruits for the last three years.  One encouraged me while the other discouraged me.  Can you guess which one did what?   While I was sitting in the truck reflecting on how much I find  myself complaining and being negative on a daily basis, with everyone and I mean EVERYONE and every thing, a mack truck hit me right upside my head.  I’m filled with bitterness.  I, Kelly, who study my Bible every morning and gets filled with God first thing in the morning, (not to mention that everyone calls me the most positive and upbeat person they know), has let hurt, anger, jealousy, and every other negativity sow seeds into the very place I’m trying to clean up.    I didn’t realize it because it crept in ever so slowly, like a thief in the night.   But that’s how it works, an offense here, a hurt there, a painful day here, an argument there and so on.  It’s a continuum that goes on and on and on.   My soil is full of rocks and I’m growing weeds.  That’s my reality.

I am all about the seeds and sowing.  I love analogies about seeds.  I’m obsessed with using sowing seeds as examples on how to be more positive in order to inspire others.   It’s ironic though because while I’ve been scattering seeds of positivity into others’ gardens I’ve been sowing boulders into my own dirt.

One of my all-time favorite readings in the Bible is in in the Book of Mark.  The parable of the sower puts it out there about as plain as you can put it, of course you have to really think about it but it reminds us just how important it is to sow good seeds.

Mark 4:1-20 – The Parable of the Sower

 Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge.  He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said:  “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed.  As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.  Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.  But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.  Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain.  Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”

 Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

 When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables.  He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables  so that,

 Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable?  The farmer sows the word.  Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.  Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy.  But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.  Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word;  but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.   Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

I always thought I had the seed that was sown on good soil but over the course of pain, rejections, family disputes, tears, heartache, (the list goes on) I have now come to the realization that I am the first farmer…the one who sows his seeds on a path and although I think they’re  planted, Satan comes and kicks those seeds right up out of the soil the minute the they touch the ground.   And who’s fault is that?  No doubt, mine!

Our family members and our friends can sometimes place mirrors in front of us in order for us to see things more clearly.   And then there are those stark realities, we call epiphanies, that ARE the actual mirrors reflecting back to us what changes literally need to be made so that we might live in alignment with what God has planned for our lives…HIS plan.

I do NOT want to head into a new year with bitterness.  I don’t want to be that girl who grows more bitter with age and circumstances, I do know that.   Thankfully I am all about beginnings.  I love them.  I love Mondays, new projects, new goals, everything that has to do with “new and untouched.”  My favorite time of day is early morning, first light actually…the BEGINNING of the day!     In the writing of this blog post, in fact just this very moment, I just had my own epiphany…

My Word of the Year: BEGINNING

I also had another ephiphany…bittness and beginning both begin with the letter “b” not that that has any bearing on anything.

Galatians 5:22-23 says that,  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  It doesn’t mention bitterness and anger in that list anywhere which concludes that I should probably make ridding myself of both, or at the very least getting them under control, at the top of my 2018 list.

Another favorite quote of mine is by Ralph Waldo Emerson (one of my all-time favorite poets) and he writes, “The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly, the peas make no mistake but to come up and show his line.”   What wise words and what an analogy.  Thank you, Mr. Emerson, for clearly reminding me that right now my peas are coming up crooked!!!

My final post for 2017.   My hope is that it inspires, encourages, and even awakens.  But most importantly I hope it ignites a fire into your deepest place, your heart, your soul, to rally yourself back and take a step forward to make 2018 your best year and best self yet!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

Kelly 🙂